Post "POST THE GIFT" Fic
by changingtimes
Summary: Buffy's dead, Spike's crying about it, you know it already - my response to the post-gift angst frenzy


Authors Note: I'm sure everyone noticed a surge in very rushed, predictable S/B angstfests after `The Gift'... Well after reading one too many `oh-so-cliched' pieces about quests though fiery hell, and Spike sobbing his heart out, I had no option but to write this. Enjoy...  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing, Joss owns all, you know it...  
  
Spoilers: Surprisingly, just `The Gift'  
  
The Post `Post The Gift Fic' Fic  
  
Buffy's dead. Spike is sitting in a pool of bourbon, crying like a baby, and drowning his sorrows. And because it's impossible to grieve and maintain personal hygiene at the same time, Spikes undignified and distasteful composure is somehow making him seem deep and sensitive, instead of weak and feeble.  
  
Spikes past few months have been spent sobbing his heart out, wallowing in self-pity and guilt. The same self-pity and guilt has driven him to kill countless demons to distract himself from his colossal grief and anguish.  
  
Whilst sobbing/demon killing, Spike has been replaying the events leading up to Buffy's death over and over in his mind (occasionally stopping to sob or kill some random hobgoblin type thing). He's also chosen to ignore his complete lack of involvement with Dawn being the Key, or Glory finding out, and the fact that Buffy made a conscious decision to kill herself, and concluded that he is 100% to blame for her death. Having reached this conclusion, he's felt obliged to sob some more/kill another demon.  
  
Meanwhile, in LA, Willow has been explaining to Angel what a truly splendid guy Spike is. Angel is, unbelievably, reluctant to accept that the fierce, brutal vampire, who had slaughtered two slayers, could be able to love.  
  
Angel tries to summarise his feelings to Willow, "But Willow, Spike is a soul-less demon who's only ever been interested in Buffy in a homicidal way. He is amoral, reckless and sadistic. He had me chained up and skewered when I wouldn't give him a ring. He's conceived countless dastardly schemes to rid the world of my beloved Buffy, which luckily she has always successfully foiled. (But never without a damned good fight, that was necessary to maintain Spikes validity as a foe worthy of her efforts.) Do you honestly expect me to disregard everything I know about him, and accept that, like myself, he's now fighting against the forces of darkness?"  
  
Willow is displeased by Angels' views. "Dammit Angel, that attitude towards Spike is so last season - get over your big brooding self and stop being so pig-headed."  
  
We return now to Spikes crypt. Enter Dawn. The plucky fifteen-year-old displays some amazing selflessness here, disregarding her own grief as she tries to talk to our sobbing/demon-killing vampire (he may or may not be wielding a hefty axe by now).  
  
Dawn is determined to get through to our guilt-riddled vampire; "Oh Spike, try to keep yourself together. Look at me, in the last few months I've lost my mother and sister, and now face an uncertain future being fought over in various custody battles. And I'm not moping; in fact, I'm completely unhindered by all my losses and feel totally able to direct all my energy into helping you snap out of this repetitive cycle of behaviour. So do you think you're ready to step outside?"  
  
"It's a nice gesture Nibblet, but I still feel obliged to wallow in my self pity and guilt, it's what any self respecting vampire would do." Spike replies, before taking yet another swig of some nondescript flask. (We can assume the flask contains bourbon, because having been mentioned once on the show, it's now officially the only thing, other than blood, that Spike drinks.)  
  
"Well, that's a real shame, Spike. I'm going home now, and hope that you follow me because it's likely that some unsightly demon is after my precious blood. Also, try to clean yourself up a bit, on my way here I had to try to explain to some passers-by why there was such an abominable stench of bourbon and urine wafting from your crypt. Goodbye".  
  
Eventually, Spike manages to remember the promise he made to Buffy about protecting Dawn. He is enlightened: "Ha ha, I know exactly how to honour the oath I made to my love. I'll move into the Summers household and live in the basement. From there, I will be able to live close to the Nibblet, and protect her if necessary, while still having the time to cry like a baby at any point if the need comes upon me."  
  
Dawn is delighted at this idea, and Spike soon finds himself residing in her basement. They spend many evenings watching movies together, giving a minimal level of thought to the chance of the authorities wondering who Dawns actual legal guardian is now.  
  
"So, Nibblet, who is your legal guardian now?"  
  
"Oh, I don't know exactly. I know it's either Giles, Willow, Tara, Xander or Anya, and that they don't mind at all that they've had to totally reshape their lifestyles to suit my needs. I'm also pretty certain that you'll end up being my legal guardian at some point, because despite the fact that you're a soul-less, bloodsucking demon, you've reluctantly become a kind of father/big brother figure for me over season 5."  
  
He smiles, patting her on the head. "But Little Bit, I've got no real address, or means of income, or any personal identification at all. I'm also a creature of the night, bound to walking the world only under the cloak of darkness."  
  
Dawn is unruffled by his comments: "Oh don't be such a worrywart."  
  
Having become less of a recluse by his touching interactions with Dawn, Spike finds an excuse to venture further than 10 feet away from the basement, and comes across either  
  
a) Buffys grave  
  
b) The constructions site where she died.  
  
Although a few months have passed since Buffys death, by pure coincidence Angel stands there, silently paying his respects with a furrowed brow and pensive expression. A fight follows over Spikes right to grieve Buffy, or have ever loved her.  
  
This gripping encounter will be peppered with tense dialogue:  
  
"Spike, you dastardly villain, how dare you be in love with Buffy?"  
  
"Because she's beautiful, intelligent and funny, and if I wasn't in love with her there really wouldn't have been anything for the writers to do with me throughout the whole of Season 5. And I'm a good guy now who no longer strives towards a Big-Bad status. Anyway, you left her, you stupid poof."  
  
"OK Spike, point taken, you're a good guy now. I will ignore the fact that you just insulted me, thus disproving the idea that you have completely reformed your character, because there's a random gang of vampires hell-bent on causing some mayhem. Would you care to form an uneasy alliance and put our past behind us?"  
  
"Sure thing, Angel old buddy!"  
  
Meanwhile, in the magic shop, either Willow or Giles has uncovered some ancient revival spell, requiring some of Dawns blood, and possibly for Spike to travel to the realms of the afterlife to retrieve Buffy.  
  
Giles makes an effort to warn Dawn about the dangers of what they are about to try. "Now Dawn, are you sure you want to try this? It might all end in both you and Spike enduring indescribable pain, before dying grim deaths."  
  
Dawn is nonplussed: "Hey, chill out Giles, I'm not worried at all".  
  
"Yeah Giles, relax." Spike comments, as he strolls in, without Angel, who we can assume is now rendered unimportant to the story, and Buffy. "The Nibblet and I tried to revive Joyce, so we've got first hand experience of revival spells. We are both also stupid enough to ignore the fact that our attempt was unsuccessful, and resulted only in raising a mindless zombie."  
  
With that all out of the way, Dawn lets herself be bled, some unimportant ritual follows, and Spike clambers happily through the newly opened portal into some heaven/hell type place.  
  
Once in the underworld, Spike finds he may have to endure some heavy-duty torment and anguish so that her release may be permitted.  
  
He is addressed by some omnipotent deity: "Spike, you puny little earth-dweller, if the Slayer is to be released, you must be prepared to suffer countless acts of abuse and degradation, followed by a slow, excruciating and very messy death."  
  
"No problem. I'm fine with that, because I know that the more barbaric and sickening acts I suffer, the less time it will take for Buffy to fall into my mashed up and broken arms."  
  
So, as he was warned, Spike receives beatings and mutilations, is whipped and flayed, has his skin torn off and stuffed down his throat, is burnt to a crisp in the fires of hell, and has all of his limbs ripped off and re-attached backwards.  
  
For what feels like an eternity, he puts up with various large, rough implements being forced into all his orifices, and a wide array of pointy objects being used to open wounds into which maggots, leeches, and possibly even small alligators are placed.  
  
And as our poor Spike lays, barely conscious, on the brink of death, the deity takes pity on him, and allows him to retrieve our heroine.  
  
"Spike, you have proved that you are very much in love with Buffy, and The Powers That Be have revealed that she and you are soul mates. Just accept this, without asking what the hell that means Angel was to her, and go to collect her. She's sitting over there in that meadow.  
  
"Thanks, mate!"  
  
Spike travels to the aforementioned beautiful and tranquil meadow where Buffy (possibly with Joyce) sits enjoying the sunshine. He strolls over and greets the Slayer.  
  
"Buffy, I've come to take you back."  
  
"But Spike, I'm really happy and relaxed here, why should I go back with you?"  
  
"Because I love you with all my (unbeating) heart and (absent) soul. Oh Buffy, you're the most amazing woman I've ever met, and you've changed me beyond recognition. I used to kill orphans for fun, and now I fight demons to protect them (well, just Dawn). My favourite song used to be `No Feelings' by the Sex Pistols, but now it's `Everything I do' by Bryan Adams. And I love you much more than that stupid ninny Angel, who's probably shagging Fred as we speak. And I'm better for you than he is, because not only am I dangerous and sexy, but I also smile on a regular basis, and you must be getting bored of the whole brooding thing."  
  
"Well, you're right about the Angel being overly broody and not as fun as you, and you are looking strangely attractive, despite your skin hanging off in chunks, revealing maggot/leech/alligator infested wounds. In fact, I'm getting used to your remaining flesh being charred and blackened already."  
  
"Oh, don't accept this `blistered-and-tortured' look too readily, I'll probably heal completely within an hour of our return to normality."  
  
At this, she leans forward and kisses him on the lips. His lips, having been burnt to a crisp, promptly fall off. Buffy ignores this and continues: "Oh Spike, after months of time to reflect without the stresses of modern living, I feel I have my priorities totally in perspective, and I am a much more balanced and well rounded person. Hence, I have decided to forget all about how unsure I was about you before my death, and fall totally in love with you. Shall we go back to Sunnydale now?"  
  
Back in Sunnydale, our recently returned couple is just settling down to a quiet, domestic lifestyle together. They take turns to patrol or stay home with Dawn, neither giving any thought to the idea of getting a real job, so they can actually pay some bills, or buy food.  
  
This mundane, yet blissful, existence is threatened by the arrival of an as-yet-unnamed evil. Whoever it is, they'll appear first standing under either Buffy's bedroom window, or a tree in a cemetery, dressed all in black and wearing a thin, sinister smile.  
  
Spike encounters the malevolent stranger first; he's sitting around (location unimportant) when someone approaches from behind and puts their hands over his eyes.  
  
"Guess who?" The as-yet-unnamed evil hisses.  
  
"Well, it's a 50-50 chance of you being either Doc or Drusilla, and judging by your female voice, talon-like fingers over my eyes, and typically stupid, cryptic way of approaching me, I'm guessing this is Drusilla." Spike relaxes, peels himself away from her feeble grip, and turns to face her.  
  
Drusilla sways around like a tree in the wind and demonstrates a variety of bizarre facial expressions as she replies. "If I was any other member of the Buffy cast I'd reply with something like `good guess' but because I'm Drusilla, the `mad' one, I'm going to find some really nonsensical and long-winded way of replying to everything you say."  
  
"Why, pet?"  
  
"Because other than my being mad, and having a vague ability to see into the future, there really aren't any features to my personality. Anyway, I'm here to kill you and the Slayer, my motives are unclear but my method is set in stone; I'm going to stun you both with a cattle prod, chain you up in a cave, and attempt a time consuming spell which I'll never get to complete." With that, she stuns our hero and drags him off.  
  
Spike awakes to find he and Buffy chained up in a cave somewhere. Buffy is still unconscious. Drusilla is in front of them, preparing to do either a nasty spell, or perform some grisly acts of mutilation.  
  
Spike addresses his ex. "Dru, this is silly. You know exactly what's going to happen. Buffy and I will foil your ill-planned scheme, escape from these chains, and kill you. Why are you even bothering?"  
  
"Don't question my logic, my boy, as I have none." Drusilla snaps, as she walks towards the still unconscious Buffy, either singing, giggling or chanting under her breath, and preparing to do Buffy some damage.  
  
Buffy wakes up and, seeing Dru, screams like a frightened teenager, and not at all like the experienced, confident Vampire Slayer that she is. "Spike! Help!" She gasps, not trying to kick at Drusilla although it's only her arms, and not her legs that are chained up.  
  
By now, Spike has succeeded in wrenching himself free from his chains, possibly by having deliberately dislocated his shoulder, and probably all the bones in his hand.  
  
Spike flies at his ex girlfriend, pounding her with punches, unhindered by his broken bones he received a few moments ago. "Unhand my new love, you evil harlot! You can never come between us, because you pose no threat (you're a crap fighter) and you mean nothing to me, despite the fact that we were desperately in love for over 100 years."  
  
As Drusilla is about to stab/bite/burn/do something awful to Buffy, Spike reaches Dru and stakes her from behind.  
  
Drusilla is understandably shocked; "Oh Spike, I can't believe you just staked me. I'm now going to say something that sounds quite poignant when really it doesn't mean anything, and take a surprisingly long time to say it before I fall to dust. " She sighs, before crumbling to the floor as a pile of ashes.  
  
Buffy is overjoyed. "Oh Spike, you saved me! And I'm so grateful, despite being quite capable of having defended myself. Sunnydale must be safe for us now; all possible foes and obstacles are but distant memories. Let's rejoice!"  
  
The happy couple meets in a passionate kiss, blissfully unaware of the arrival of Doc, or some other dastardly villain, who is lurking somewhere nearby.  
  
Doc delights in planning Spike and Buffys demise: "Ha ha, my evil plan is forming perfectly. I am going to try to kill those crazy kids in revenge for mine and Glory's defeat, even though Glory is gone, so this is all pointless. But this is all I'm going to say, my story line will take shape in the sequel to this extremely original and moving piece of fiction." (Cackles maniacally, as the story comes to a close...)  
  
THE END 


End file.
